Shards
by Little Blue Owl
Summary: They're both left to pick up the broken pieces. FerrisWheelShipping oneshot


Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or plot of Pokemon.

Summary: They're both picking up the broken pieces. Hilda x N Oneshot

Shards

I walked up to the counter. "Two hot chocolates, please." They bustled about in the kitchen in front of me, trying to get the drinks together quickly. I felt bad for all this fuss I caused. I awkwardly leaned over the counter. "Take as long as you need, miss. I'm not going anywhere."

She smiled gratefully at me with a red face, I'm certain internally berating herself, and I smiled sheepishly at the thought. She hardly slowed down, though, after I told her to. I paid and took the cups to an outdoor table. Nacrene City was prettier than I remembered. I was so used to everywhere being so large and busy that it paid to be around a smaller city sometimes.

I sighed as I looked at the empty seat across from me, contrasting the full drink in front of it. I slowly drank mine and sighed, picking up the extra and pulling my coat back on and tapping on the Pokéballs hanging by my waist. I stroke two of them many times- my starter and Reshiram. I didn't usually go without them.

I pulled myself back onto the road and sighed. Which direction was I going in? Did it really matter? This was what I did, I traveled to help trainers grow. I sighed once more. There was an undeniable weight upon my shoulders dragging me down. I scowled and took off the infuriating pea coat, laying it down on the street over some cold-looking Pokémon. They looked up at me gratefully, and I just smiled, waving at them as I passed. Everyone had cleared out of the forest by now, they all had homes and jobs and lives to maintain. They would be inside, where it was warm. I was the only one crazy enough to still be outside.

I kept walking, pulling myself along through the forest, up until the bridge. The gates person just stared at me with a raised eyebrow, and I smiled and nodded at them, to reassure them that yes, I really was this crazy.

I walked out onto the landing for the bridge. It was the dead of December, a couple of days before Christmas. I hadn't really given time much thought now. It went by fast or slow- that was that. I almost smiled at that. Almost philosophical, but not quite.

The wind bit at my arms. I wasn't enjoying that, but I'd been through worse. No one was on the bridge. The light above came mostly from the stars. Strangely enough, the walk had never felt so long before.

A harsh wind pushed me over, and I stumbled. "Uh-wah!" My attempts to stand up were blocked by more wind shoving in my direction. I fell to my knees and curled up into the side rail. There was no way I was going to bring my Pokémon out for something as trivial as heat. They were going to freeze worse than me if I called them out.

I grunted, remembering what my mom had said about me when I was little.

"Hilda's so stubborn, you know. She won't change her mind for the world."

My mom had laughed about it then. But once I got older, the laughing turned to sighs and sheepish smiles to Cheren and Bianca's moms.

My lips curled up on one side slightly. I didn't need a mirror to tell me that they were blue. I dug into my pockets and pulled out gloves, which I put on gratefully, and pulled my hair down out of its ponytail and out of my hat, trying to stand up again.

I groaned, and forced myself up, determined to not force my Pokémon into this. This was my battle.

My frozen feet were hard and cold, and moving them was like moving cinder blocks. I winced and clutched the drink, freezing in my hands. A gust pushed me to the wall and I fell, Reshiram stumbling out of its Pokéball and attempting to stand in front of me. It didn't help much, but it did conserve some heat, and I was grateful. My last conscious thought before passing out was that my Pokémon were doing too much for me.

I woke up in a Pokémon Center, cold and disoriented. A face was blurry leaning above mine. Though the features were impossible to make out, I could still see the relief on every feature when I awoke.

I sat there for a few minutes and blinked, staring into the eyes watching me intently. My vision was clearing by bits. When I recognized the figure, my eyes widened and theirs tensed up.

I half-sat up and looked at the person, still staring at me with stormy gray-blue eyes.

"You probably weren't expecting to see me." His voice rang in my ears.

I stared at him. Everything that was building up over the years was boiling at my throat. But instead of letting it out in words, I decided to not think for once.

I slapped him in the face.

"Why the hell did you run off like that? Then just show up years eight years later expecting me to just pretend it's all the same? It's not the same." I tried to put force into my voice, to yell at him like he knew he deserved, but I was exhausted. Everything still felt stiff, except my numbing mind.

He raised his eyebrows with a thick, indiscernible emotion, looking down at the floor. "I'm sorry, Hilda."

I froze. A strange sensation swept through me.

Of course. I was still just Hilda. I was still just a confused little girl wandering around with some Pokémon next to her.

It came down on me like sheets of rain. Hard and cold. And then I started to sob.

He looked at me and I could see the worry in his eyes. The last thing I wished on him was more pain, but it wouldn't stop. He stood awkwardly as if wondering whether or not to try to comfort me, and found that neither option worked, so he just sat down at the foot of the bed.

Oh, to hell with it. I had already lost one battle tonight. My armor was weak and broken. We were opposites now. It was my turn to need him.

I turned to N and wrapped my arms around his neck, every muscle straining. I let my tears soak into his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, N." I was done being the hero.

He wrapped his arms around means held me tighter, and I buried my face into his messy green hair. It was still long, still in that same ridiculous ponytail. We hadn't changed so much at all.

He let me just sit there and cry for hours. It was still dark out when I pulled back from him.

His voice was quiet as I gazed at him. "You don't have anything to be sorry for."

He held me and let his own tears fall into my hair. "I saw Reshiram. It was asking for my help. It wanted you to be healthy so badly it took damage of its own. Reshiram is okay, now, though. The nurse downstairs warmed it up and brought it back to health."

I cried a little harder. "I can never seem to do anything without hurting people." A half-hearted laugh escaped my throat. "Especially when it came to you."

He tensed up and shook his head. "That wasn't you. That was Ghetsis. I was a fool to believe him. He pretended to want me out of love. Why couldn't I just see that was too good to be true?"

"There's nothing wrong with you. How could you have known-"

He let go of me. "I was a freak!" He shouted it and stared at the ground. "I didn't know anything. I thought you were the naïve one, but it was always me, wasn't it, in the end?"

He kept on. His face was red with hot tears streaming down his cheeks. Every word was sharp and stung my ears. "I was so desperate to have someone love me that I was willing to believe whatever Ghetsis said. I was willing to lose everything even though I knew it- I knew nobody could ever love me!"

My hands trembled. "Stop it, just stop!" He silenced and stared at me through his wet eyes. "All these years later and you're still acting like a child. Don't you get it? You ARE loved!" I was red now, and yelling so loudly I had to force myself to quiet down, even though I knew there would be very few trainers in the Pokémon Center. "Anthea and Concordia- your sisters- they love you! They always have and I- I love you!" I pleaded for him to stop. For him to finally move on.

He stared at me. His eyes were shining and tense. I could see not just want, but need in his eyes. I closed mine and leaned in, lightly placing a kiss on his lips. As I was about to stop it, he deepened it. He held me in his arms like there was nowhere else I should be and he was happy. And I was happy.

He kissed me long and hard, finally letting go when he ran out of breath. I looked at him with a strange mixture of bliss and sadness, and smiled at him through my tears.

He pulled back and looked at the ground. "I'm sorry, Hilda. I shouldn't have done that, or yelled at you. You didn't do anything-"

A single tear fell down my cheek and I silence him. "You don't have anything to be sorry for."

He pulled me into another kiss.

AN: This one might be a little bit out of character, although, it's safe to assume N would be different after years of traveling to find himself. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it!


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